Missing
by twilight-archer
Summary: You won’t cry for my absence, I know... You forgot me long ago... Am I that unimportant...? Am I so insignificant...? Isn’t something missing? Isn’t someone missing me?


Disclaimer: I own not a thing.

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Floating… drifting… grey… everything grey… blurry… fuzzy… wait… no, no… not again… please… 

Too late.

Visions, flashing across his subconscious… bringing emotions he had no need for anymore… Ron and Hermione happily sitting down to a family dinner as husband and wife… McGonagall smiling down at a class of excited first-years… Dumbledore twinkling merrily over his half-moon glasses… And the final stab… Draco Malfoy kissing his fiancée tenderly.

_I breathe deep and cry out:_

_"Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?"_

No… no… NO! An unearthly shriek of pain nobody could hear.

If he was still alive, sobs would be wracking his thin frame. Why? Why did he taunt himself with the cruel reality death had helped him escape? The picture faded back to his realm of death… grey light illuminating grey shadow… or was it the other way around…? He didn't know, and he was past caring… He thought he was past caring about anything by now… 7 years after he had died… dragging Voldemort down with him… Apparently not. How was it possible to feel such pain if you are dead?

Harry did not regret his death. The visions had given him a cold, harsh grip on reality. It was better that he had died. In the world of the living, there was no place for him after he defeated Voldemort. Ron and Hermione had each other. Hogwarts was thriving with new students and Remus as a DDA professor. Aurors were flushing out Death Eaters in hiding effortlessly. And Draco…

_You won't cry for my absence, I know _

_You forgot me long ago._

_Am I that unimportant...?_

_Am I so insignificant...?_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,_

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me,_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

No… no… my fault… never told him… didn't know… never had a chance… why… I KILLED THE DARK LORD FOR HIM!!! For him… no-one else…no-one... doesn't he even care...?

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

_You won't try for me, not now…_

Harry remembered finding out about Draco's past and home-life… His biggest mistake.

"_Shit!!!" Harry swore as he stumbled through the dungeon's winding maze of passages. Under the cover of his Invisibility _(A/N: Never noticed it had five "i's"…)_ Cloak, he felt safe. Unfortunately, it didn't stop him from being hopelessly lost. Harry muttered outrageous obscenities under his breath, thinking about the Marauder's Map hidden in his trunk. Why the hell hadn't he brought it with him?! Actually, why the hell had he accepted the dare in the first place?_

_The Gryffindors were playing a game of Truth and Dare out of extreme boredom and Harry had been dared to play Knock-and-Run at Snape's chamber doors. The others, preferring to stay alive, had not accompanied him. It didn't matter whether they were there or not, Harry had every intention of fulfilling his challenge. He hadn't bargained on getting lost, though. Tripping over yet another uneven stone slab, Harry grabbed the wall for support. Too bad it swung around silently and yanked him into a hidden room. _(A/N: Think rotating walls in cheap haunted house flicks)

_Groaning, Harry sat up and surveyed his surroundings. "What the hell…" He was at the end of a dark stone corridor and behind him was the irritating wall... inlaid with the Malfoy crest. "Oh shit…" Voices made Harry leap to his feet. Cautiously, and cursing the Gryffindor courage that forced him into this situation, he crept towards the light coming from a room off the corridor. Peering into the room, Harry felt his stomach drop. Both Malfoy and Malfoy Senior were in there, having a not too civil conversation. Well, fine, a one-sided shouting match. _

_Lucius was pacing about the room in furious strides, turning to his son and yelling at various intervals. Malfoy was sitting with his face downcast, answering his father in monotone. It was obviously a much repeated ritual._

"_WHY haven't you gotten any information for the Dark Lord?"_

"_I couldn't, Father. Potter is too well guarded." Harry reeled a bit with the knowledge those two lines gave him. One: Malfoy Senior was a Death Eater (what a shocker), Two: Malfoy was a spy and Three: Malfoy was lying to his Father. Harry knew full well that Malfoy had plenty of opportunities to hurt/kill/maim him. He tuned back in to the 'conversation'._

"_Haven't you gotten any closer to him at all? Or his dim-wit mudblood friends? Why didn't you threaten some Gryffindor, or use blackmail, or the Polyjuice Potion?! You are a disgrace to the Malfoy name. Call yourself a Slytherin when the simplest plans are beyond you!" Lucius seemed to be working himself up into a fury. _

"_CRUCIO!"_

_Malfoy fell to the floor and twitched horribly, though no sound came from him. Harry struggled with his hero complex, eyes wide open in shock. Draco was his own SON! How could he use an Unforgivable on his own flesh and blood? Harry tore his eyes away from Draco's writhing body and clenched his fists, waiting for it to end. After what seemed like an age, Lucius ended the curse._

"_I expect better from you next time. Leave."_

"_Y-yes Father."_

_Draco's voice was shaky but Harry had more important things on his mind. He would be discovered soon if he didn't find a place to stand out of the way. Frantically, he scanned the hallway. It was only a metre wide. Draco was sure to feel him. Harry pressed himself against the wall as much as possible as Draco came walking down the corridor. He was shocked to see tears in his nemesis' eyes. Malfoy looked so… human. _

_Harry made his way back to the Gryffindor Tower surprisingly well, all thoughts of his dare driven from his mind. Thankfully they had gotten bored with waiting for him and had gone to sleep. Harry lay awake for a long time that night._

That was the beginning of his fascination with Draco. He would steal glances at the Slytherin every opportunity he got. He saw the flaws in his mask that no-one else had bothered to look for. And his fascination grew. It seemed natural that Harry had memorised Draco's schedule. It was fine that Harry could tell where the blonde would be and what he would be doing at any time of the day. And then, it was inevitable that his captivation would turn into something more.

Harry never told anyone of his feelings, nor did anyone guess. Particularly not Draco. But Harry never stopped loving the spy who lied for him, and suffered with his secret till death.

It was a pity death did not end his pain.

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed,_

_Knowing you don't care._

_And if I sleep just to dream of you_

_And wake without you there,_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't something..._

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

_You won't try for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

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Please review!!! Lyrics are from 'Missing' by Evanescence. 


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